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Feel down, Koen?
So did Wagner when he composed his masterpiece Der Ring des Nibelungen. Fled from his country after being involved in political movement, had no money but much amount of debts, and faced several personal problems. But his masterpiece is one of the best composition ever created on the Earth.
I have no suggestion. You may just have to try to ignore your feeling. Further, you could use that feeling to boost your performance.

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