Dilbert Quotes 2004

Tad Ashlock mengirim ke alt.comics.dilbert, menyampaikan oneline favorit dari koleksi Dilbert sepanjang 2004. Enjoy!

  • 2004-01-30 The goal of public relations is to taint the
    jury pool. We’ll show that the victims had it coming.
  • 2004-02-02 Excuse me while I beat myself with my keyboard.
  • 2004-02-04 Whenever I talk to you, I feel like I should be
    wearing a wire.
  • 2004-02-05 Never listen to your customers. They were dumb
    enough to buy your product, so they have no credibility.
  • 2004-02-12 I’m a writer for “Morons on Parade” magazine.
    Do you mind if I ask you some questions?
  • 2004-02-13 You made the cover of “Morons on Parade.”
  • 2004-02-22 GAAA!!! My despair has turned into a searing
    psychological pain!!! OW! OW! OW!
  • 2004-03-04 The new dress code is “winged monkey.”
  • 2004-03-08 This week I achieved unprecedented levels of
    unverifiable productivity. I made phone calls, built
    consensus, displayed leadership, attended meetings and set
    priorities.
  • 2004-04-07 I’ve added mumbling and peevishness to my
    work-avoidance arsenal. I get the benefits of appearing
    knowledgeable without the burden of sharing.
  • 2004-04-12 The association of doughnut makers asked me to
    prove that skinny people can’t go to heaven.
  • 2004-05-09 Man-duh-tory
  • 2004-05-24 Our office was designed with the science of feng
    shui.
  • 2004-05-29 If we skip design, prototype, testing and
    manufacturing, we can afford the product recall.
  • 2004-06-03 The Fertiliar
  • 2004-06-04 I summon the dark demon of ineffective
    management to smite the person who wants this decision!!!
  • 2004-06-07 I declare this a pants-optional zone.
  • 2004-06-11 May I point out that he has never produced
    anything except arrogance and noise?
  • 2004-06-19 A death spiral goes clockwise north of the
    equator.
  • 2004-06-20 The whatchamacallit has to be whatever or else
    the whosits will go hey-hey.
  • 2004-06-20 I love my coworkers, until they talk.
  • 2004-07-13 You’re not allowed to lie, but I expect plenty
    of omissions, misdirections, exaggerations, unjustified
    optimism, lost documents, unclear explanations, gray areas
    and tactical ignorance.
  • 2004-07-19 Allow me to respond by hacking a hairball in
    your direction.
  • 2004-07-27 It’s multi-level marketing plus a diet plan
    suggested by the bible!
  • 2004-08-05 My voice mailbox is full, and my spam filter
    rejects all incoming e-mail. As soon as I build up a good
    load of ear wax, I’ll be off the grid.
  • 2004-08-14 Were you correct that your superior intelligence
    makes you a superb negotiator?
  • 2004-08-15 That’s our insurance company. They’ve been
    jumpy lately.
  • 2004-08-22 M.T.T.S.F. — Mean Time To Story Failure
  • 2004-08-26 I always wondered what efficiency looked like.
  • 2004-08-27 When I said cheaper, I meant more fun.
  • 2004-08-28 Now if you’ll excuse me, I feel a nap coming on.
  • 2004-09-06 Before you decide, look at this DVD titled, “Is
    Bribery Right for You?” The narrator might refer to you by
    name when she dances.
  • 2004-09-16 If you hire me, I will use my enormous brain to
    develop world-changing products. I require no pay and no
    cubicle. I will eat used paper, and cling to the ceiling.
  • 2004-09-18 I’m having an unpleasant realization.
  • 2004-09-23 Sometimes I have naughty thoughts during work
    hours. Should I reimburse the company for lost
    productivity?
  • 2004-10-19 Is it possible that I’m oblivious to my effect
    on others?
  • 2004-10-20 I’ll pair you with someone whose social defect
    will cancel out your own.
  • 2004-10-22 Can a business-led project management process
    optimize our strategic core issues?
  • 2004-10-23 It’s his own fault for not paying me enough to
    afford entertainment.
  • 2004-10-27 Do you want the simple but misleading
    explanation or the one you won’t understand?
  • 2004-10-28 Something that you could never comprehend
    conflicts with something that you’d never understand.
  • 2004-11-01 How about a nanotechnology stem cell for
    fighting terrorists?
  • 2004-11-03 My philosophy is that anything worth doing is
    worth delaying.
  • 2004-11-08 Once you embrace the idea that your customers
    deserve to die… it frees your mind to invent splendidly
    profitable products.
  • 2004-11-09 Warning! This product will kill you but that’s
    okay because it tastes great!
  • 2004-11-12 Now rationalize your decision, you mindless pink
    robot!
  • 2004-11-14 This one goes in the scrapbook.
  • 2004-11-20 Your biggest defect continues to be your
    inability to handle criticism. And you argue with people
    who are much smarter than yourself.
  • 2004-11-21 I wonder if it’s called whistling when only air
    comes out.
  • 2004-11-29 Call me shallow, but I enjoy getting paid for
    other people’s inventions.
  • 2004-12-13 I’m going to ram my fist down your throat, grab
    your pants and turn you inside out.
  • 2004-12-25 Do you want the ten-minute explanation of why
    the data are useless, or a simple “here you go”?
  • 2004-12-27 My philosophy is that anything worth doing is
    too hard.
  • 2004-12-27 A character flaw isn’t a philosophy.
  • 2004-12-30 Do you have any more questions like that one?
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